How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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