How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
