Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
