I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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