Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
