I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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