yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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