it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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