8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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