and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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