He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
