your parents love me but you hate me
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
