i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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