Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
