so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
A+ Viking dick
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
