Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Everyone says I win the strip club
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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