He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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