Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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