can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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