$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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