I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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