Do you still have your period?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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