Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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