we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
love makes seman taste better
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
