And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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