we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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