After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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