I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize
