Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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