I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
