he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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