i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
