i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
