He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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