It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
