I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
