All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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