I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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