I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
