...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
