Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
