OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
