I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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