I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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