you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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