I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
