we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool