we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM