I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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