i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
