Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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