If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
