i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
you never un-have a 4some
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
