Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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