I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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