i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
