so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
