i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
