I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
