well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
This house was built for laser tag.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
