So drunk, too bad you don't want this
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Someone signed my nipple.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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