I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
