All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize