Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Is it penis luge time yet?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
