I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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